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Cancerous Soul

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f e e l i n g ___ g o f f i k . . . [update]

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 24, 2009, 2:52 AM

c o n t e n t

^{Feeling very gothic today...
Not in the bad way either, though the day did seem to start that way. Nan rang up worrying dad by telling him she was in the hospital because she fell over. Then she went on about how it was too icy to drive to ours for xmas, and not to bother driving to hers, so that made dad feel guilty...
To anyone who doesn't know my nan, they'd read that and think fair enough, but to everyone who does know her, they know she's just a bit evil.
Just the last time she visited us (a week or so ago) she kept reminding me how I'd regret everything in my life when I'm her age. My tattoos, the fact that I'm a goth, etc...
How lovely.
Well, it is lovely actually, lovely that she won't be here for xmas. Everytime she's here a huge arguement breaks out and ruins the day, so call me horrid but I'm glad she's not visiting.

Now onto the goodness~
Went to Carrick's today and that was epic.
Stuffed myself with Chinese and watching interweb madness and Frasier with her and Jack.
..we also marvelled at her immense cat Pritz. He is so fat, it's glorious... ;_;
Also, I got an add from someone here, looked in their gallery and faves and OMG, so many sexy goth pictures!
So yes, I'm going to invest in loads moar goff makeup and clothes soon.
I'm in dire need of a black Elizabethan ruff, an array of huge dresses, more bustles, etc...

e d i t
..one of nan's friends phoned dad up saying nan now can't move her arm after falling over yesterday.
And she says it's not broken, even though she's in extreme pain and hasn't had it checked by a doctor either.. so I have no idea what the hell she was talking about when she said she phoned dad from the hospital. Lying again? :/
My parents are off now to drive to Essex (2 and a half hours at best away..) in this weather, with ice on the roads. It'll probably take them 4 hours each fucking way.
Merry fucking Christmas.}

e y e c a n d y

4 Comments

Mood: Thrilled
Listening to: Voltaire - Stuck With You
Reading: Stephen King - Rose Madder
Watching: Ugly Betty
Playing: Professor Layton
Drinking: Freeway Cola

Skin by `kjherstin

f l i c k r

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 21, 2009, 1:58 PM

c o n t e n t

^{First of all I'm thoroughly addicted to Flickr.. xD
» b e h o l d «
..so, if any of you sexy slags also have one, add me!!! (or link me to yours so I can add you~)

Other than that, everything is good.
Got to see Charlotte and Carrick recently (Wagamama's is luff btw! o.e), and that really cheered me up.
Hopefully we should all be meeting up sometime before Friday, I'm sure Jack's supposed to be back.. xD
I had a belting Chinese the other day with a college friend of mine, so that is also on the list of epic.

I gave my boy Dawbeney a new faceup, which I'm really proud of. I finally painted on eyelashes without making them look like a person with epilepsy was doing it! (..I shake XD)
I'm going to have a go on my tinies sometime this week, maybe tomorrow. Instead of trying to find a really fine 0.01/some other stupid size brush, I just used my mum's epic scissors to chop most of the bristles off until there was just 4 or 5 strands at the tip.. xD
IT WORKS SURPRISINGLY WELL! XDDD
..may have to snip moar off for tiny-scale o.O}

e y e c a n d y

No Comments

Mood: Thrilled
Listening to: Voltaire - Stuck With You
Reading: Stephen King - Rose Madder
Watching: Ugly Betty
Playing: Professor Layton
Drinking: Freeway Cola

Skin by `kjherstin

: 3

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 14, 2009, 1:58 PM

c o n t e n t

^{Feeling a bit better now, thanks to everyone who gave me their loving thoughts and e-hugs! n_n~

I'm getting very happy with my photography skillz at the moment, `ladytwiglet recommended me some lenses for my camera, so I'm going to see if I can get a few of them next time I'm in town! (I haven't spent any of my student finance yet, so why not? :3)
Jack should be coming back down south from uni this weekend if my memory holds. I think the quartet needs to organise something before xmas! D:

I'm not happy with Angelesque at the moment. I placed an order for a can of MSC flat UV, and they emailed me saying when they recieved the batch that it was the gloss version! -arg-
They said they'd emailed their supplier and that they'd also reordered the correct flat version and would get it by Friday.
That was a few Fridays ago... WANT NAO.
Dawbeney's faceup is GAY and needs redoing! ._. (I would send his head to an epic faceupper, but I want to practice myself, and get better)

e d i t
Heard from someone at AU that Angelesque have the MSC flat UV and are shipping them now~ :3}

e y e c a n d y

No Comments

Mood: Thrilled
Listening to: Voltaire - Stuck With You
Reading: Stephen King - Rose Madder
Watching: Ugly Betty
Playing: Professor Layton
Drinking: Freeway Cola

Skin by `kjherstin

m o t h e r

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 13, 2009, 2:24 PM

c o n t e n t

^{Firstly, yesterday was shit.
Went to a relative's 80th with mum, dad and nan. That went on for too long (for my liking anyway.. dad got us there at 11, and no one else turned up until bloody 1!), and then we got home around half 10 ish.
Got all dressed for bed then, I'd fallen asleep twice when I was at the party..
I'm sat on the bed waiting to go brush my teeth while mum's in the bathroom. Then I heard a weird thudding, but thought it may be her dropping something. Dad came up the stairs because any thudding is really magnified when you're on the floor below.

Mum had fainted.
It's not the first time this has happened, and ever time it does, I get fucking freaked out. I've never seen her faint before she lost all the weight, in 19/20 years I've never seen it happen..
She said it was because all she'd drank at the party was champagne and nothing with actual hydration. And she said she's prone to fainting, yet I've not seen it as I've said in 19 of the 20 years I've known her.. ):
She then fainted twice after that, I had the phone in my hand ready to ring a fucking ambulance, but she didn't want to "cause a fuss" and that she was "feeling fine".

I sat up half the night worrying/crying/hyperventilating and when I did finally fall asleep I kept waking up and checking on her to make sure she was ok.
I've never felt so sick with worry in my whole life. I've never really even been drunk in my whole life, but this incident is enough to never make me touch a drop. I feel sick just thinking about it.
All day today I've been watching her out of the corner of my eye, making sure she's not gone pale or anything. She's got quite a colourful face, but whenever she faints she's paler than me.
It scares the fucking shit out of me.

I woke up this morning with the biggest headache ever, my eyes were burning and my guts torrid as ever. I.B.S can fuck off now, please.
I hope I feel better tomorrow, I'm gonna try and get the family OUT of the house, I need fucking air.

I swear, Stephen King could not have made last night any more horrific.
Limp body, white face, dead eyes and lolling mouth are not a good combination... I think it's safe to say I had my first actual emotional breakdown.
I'd like to thank Carrick though, I texted her and Jack (dunno if he had credit o.O) and she invited me round to her house for tea. I was too scared to leave mum here at home though, I'd never have forgiven myself if anything happened. And I wouldn't have been the best company anyway.. ;_;
xxx}

e y e c a n d y

4 Comments

Mood: Thrilled
Listening to: Voltaire - Stuck With You
Reading: Stephen King - Rose Madder
Watching: Ugly Betty
Playing: Professor Layton
Drinking: Freeway Cola

Skin by `kjherstin

c h r i s t m a s ~ t e i m s

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 10, 2009, 11:15 AM

c o n t e n t

^{Had a very good day today as a matter of fact~
Stayed in for the post (turned up just after half one..), then facked off into town for shoppings.
I was also not impressed as I was hella starving but Greggs had ran out of my favie xmas sammich today, so I had to settle for an M&S one (which tasted of cardboard and ass.)

Then me and dad facked off to the teddybear shop near the riverside and I bought my mum the perrrfect pressie for xmas.
She said the day before when we were watching something about cheap xmases on channel 4, that someone in her family was going to give her a huge Steiff bear, but then decided at the last minute to give it to a better relative so that she got given a tiny one.. our relatives all over really.. ¬_¬
She still has it in the cupboard in the livingroom, but it's really sparse in fur, and the squeaker in his tummy's broken.
I got her a much bigger one with a growler, (I was shit scared that if the box tipped in the car that it'd go "MURRRRRRR!!!" but it didn't! XDDDD) it's gorgeous though, a lovely goldy beige with a dark sapphire ribbon bow around his neck.
..I well want it >_>
I was going to get a brown one with a red ribbon, but his fur looked a bit weird, and I instead chose the more opulant one! XD
Dad managed to blag £16 off it, so all in all I got him for £110. (I KNOW. It's only 40-50cm tall at the most!!!) But my mummy deserves the best, and I know it'll really make her happy.

..that being said, I really want a Steiff bear nao. I always have. GIMME.}

e y e c a n d y

8 Comments